Classic Fun

Posts Tagged ‘text’

Here we go:

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.

2. Log onto MSN and ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.

3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
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This sign is in spanish when you’re not looking

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and i get how a rock can beat scissors, but there’s no fucking way paper can beat rock.

Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile?

Why the hell can’t paper do this to scissors?

Screw scissors, wyh can’t paper do this to people?

Why aren’t sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class?

I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody.

A rock would teat that shit up in 2 seconds.

When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock.

Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist anf say, oh shit I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole.

paper,scissor,stone pillows, ©princess toadie

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet”, which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

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IN PRISON: You spend the majority of your time in a 10X10 cell.
AT WORK: You spend the majority of your time in an 8X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON: You get three meals a day.
AT WORK: You get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON: You get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK: You get more work for good behavior.

IN PRISON: The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK: You must often carry a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON: You can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK: You could get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON: You get your own toilet.
AT WORK: You have to share the toilet with some people who pee on the seat.

IN PRISON: They allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK: You aren’t even supposed to speak to your family.

IN PRISON: All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK: you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON: You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
AT WORK: You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON: You must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK: They are called managers.

via Brandon