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Archive for the ‘texts’ Category

Baby wild bunny eats a flower then washes its face.

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Things Thare Difficult To Say When You’re Drunk

• Cinnamon
• Indubitably
• Innovative
• Preliminary
• Proliferation

Things That Are VERY Difficult To Say When You’re Drunk

• British Constitution
• Loquacious Transubstantiate
• Passive-aggressive disorder
• Specificity

Thingts That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE To Say When You’re Drunk

• Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
• Nope, no more alcohol for me.
• Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
• Good evening officer, isn’t it lovely out tonight?
• Oh, just couldn’t. No one wants to hewar me sing.
• You’re right, I can’t jump over that table!

Picture by ChernobylBob

Some stats about the Internet:

JESS3 / The State of The Internet from JESS3 on Vimeo.

(via Spreeblick)

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the football before helping around the house.

3. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

4. A Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer quickly to No 9 for the meaning of nothing.)

5. That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

6. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’, which is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ – that will bring on No. 7).

7. Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying, “F– YOU!”

8. Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to No. 4.

9. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in “Fine”.

Send this link to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

Send this link to all the women you know to give them a good laugh, because we know it’s true!

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